Music is the language of love

it is. it really is.


~the sitar
a guitar met a harp, they fell madly in love, started making love every where, on the counters and the floor, and a little sitar popped out.


my love is divine.
it was given by god!
...to another man.

Matthew understands me.
Hes a fucking douche bag though, who threw away love.
aaannnddd- he's never getting it back.


i deserve my self esteem and self respect.
Xavier told me so!
lol.


to believe so lowly of myself, is wrong.
to think that I could be ok with the love of my life being with other women is wrong.
and he is ugly.
and i adored him.
and he is not what i loved.
and even though he could be, he doesn't want to be.


i want a sitar



the road to hell is paved in good intentions.

~listen to this
just another face in the crowd.
i've been thinking it over in my head.
is my head held lowly or proud.
ikeep thinking. so many times he says hes wrong about me
like handing over his side of the world.
turn around and take it back.
if you're a man, then be a man and take my hand.
but if you weren't then hold your stand
and i'll leave this land.
never coming home again.



running scenarios
hypotheticals


were kindred spirits

kinda wana know what youre thinking
whats going through your mind
if its the same as me


i am not inherently good
i've had dirty thoughts
then felt disgusted and ashamed.
oh my god
whats wrong with me?
if we were to fall into categories
my friend
you say i would be one of the good ones.




and i'll think of you, wont say it loud.
i think i'll keep it to myself.
in an average day
i feel so much shame and self loathing.
i think from everyone's perspective.
as many others' as i can.



i dont want to think about it
i wana get it out of me
i wana get it out
dont want to nurture it.